I have been back in Clemson for a week, after taking 2 weeks away to visit Birmingham and to go to RUF training in Atlanta and then to a Christian Counseling and Education Foundation (CCEF) conference in Chattanooga! Life has been busy, needless to say! Training was great. Campus MInisters spoke on topics like How to Love Your Church Well and How to Love People When You are Scared to Love. My Area Coordinator, JR Foster, also did a great job talking about Decision Making. I am always amazed at how good the sessions are at training. I truly believe that the teaching I have received from RUF Campus Ministers over the past 6 years is the best preaching and teaching I have ever heard in my life- all churches, podcasts, retreats included.
Similarly, the teaching I got at the CCEF Conference was helpful. This year’s topic was Shame and Guilt. After hearing much convicting and challenging material at training I’m so glad the teaching from CCEF wasn’t intense or anything haha! Seriously though, CCEF is an excellent organization and one I had not heard of before attending the conference. The main thing I took away from CCEF was that I am to love people without expectation or manipulation. I cannot shame people into being who I want them to be or into doing what I want them to do. To love someone well means to love without agenda or expectation or return, that is to love selflessly, the way that Christ loves us. Actually, this is probably the main thing I took away from RUF training as well.
Since I have been back in Clemson, I have continued meeting with girls for walks, lunch, coffee, etc. trying to love them well as a reflection of Christ’s love for them and out of the overflow of gratitude of God’s love for me. That’s a big challenge and one that I fail at daily, but thank goodness God’s mercies are new every morning. Yesterday I met with a girl who I have been meeting with since I became an intern. I have seen a lot of growth in this student- she thinks she was truly converted last year as a result of Stephen’s teaching. She struggles with feelings of worthlessness as a result of verbal abuse from her father growing up. The main way this student has grown is that she is able to admit to all this, opening herself up to being truly seen by me and others. Before, she wanted to pretend like everything was okay or that everything was at least under control. Now she knows that her life isn’t smooth and she is willing to admit to that and to talk about it. Her honest admission about feeling like she doesn’t deserve love and that she feels lonely in her worthlessness is a huge victory for this student. It is the heart that clearly sees its need and wants to be helped that God changes. And in reality it is God who works in us before we reach this point, while we are numb and dead in out desires, to get us to the point where we want change.
In other news, I went hiking with some girls on Saturday at Isaqueena Falls and Stump House Tunnel! Here are some pictures.
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